Just for fun... I came up with this silliness and thought I'd share it. My husband laughed heartily but I do fully accept that there are many female Rogers out there!
'Twas the day after posting day
when Roger did call.
"Are you still sending out?" He asked,
"Anything at all?"
"Err no." I said, "It's Christmas Eve,
the postman needs a break."
"Oh Damn!" He cries, "I forgot the wife,
I've been such a terrible flake."
"Is there nothing you can send?
No rule I can bend? There are so many things on your site,
If I don't manage this I fear she'll be pissed
and it'll end in a terrible fight."
"You didnt think to buy?"
I asked in reply
"You've not thought this through at all!
You've had a whole year to work something out.
You've set yourself up for a fall."
"Let me be frank and make myself clear,
I'm not very good with a plan.
I rely on my wife to do quite a lot,
after all I'm only a man."
"We're sure that there are things your wife would like,
we do gifts very well we can boast.
But you're way too late with your order date.
There's simply no time left to post."
"So Roger, dear man,
what are you to do?
A pop to the shops after all?
A plant, some biccies,
a chocolate bar?
Or have you hit the wall?"
"She'd have loved a yearbook,
a mug, a napkin, a pin,
some silver to hang on her keys.
But we can't send out on such a late date.
Stop looking as it's now just a tease."
"Hang on!" He said
"I'm on your site,
I think I've found just the thing.
I can get a gift card and she can choose.
Oh! My! The angels will sing..."
"Thank heaven for you!
I was starting to fret!
But a gift card is all that I need.
I can print it here and give it to her,
and be the good husband in deed."
"I personally think vouchers are a bit lame," I said
"It smacks of not giving much thought.
But here we are without much choice
and...
oh my! That was quick!
You've bought!"
"Thanks so much for all your help.
I think she's going to be glad.
Phew! I was getting worried there
I do hate to see her sad..."
"So now that's done and sorted
I can put that worry away.
The next one lurks so much closer now
As her birthday's Boxing Day."
By Sarah, mainly in the shower, 19 December 2025